My not-to-do list

Last week, I was reading an article on the internet when I stumbled upon this concept.  I am absolutely obsessed with my to-do list, to the point of annoying everyone around me and at first I was far from convinced that this idea of having a list of things I don't do was something for me.  Then I realised that it is something I do anyway!  Here's my list:

• Ironing - I haven't ironed since I moved to Germany.  The working dress code is much less formal and I don't find the need. 
• Wearing make up - ten years ago, I would not have left the house without at least mascara, now I can count on one hand the occasions on which I have worn make up this year - a hen do, two weddings and two date nights.  It simply saves me time on a morning and I find my skin benefits from it too.
• Taking my phone into the bedroom - since the start of 2018 I have consciously left my phone downstairs when I go to bed and opted to read instead.  It has improved the speed at which I fall asleep and the length and quality of my sleep (according to my fitbit).
• Waiting - life is short.  All too often I hear from friends who have a set life plan.  While my life has been fairly traditional so far, I'm glad I didn't wait to find the perfect house or get out of debt before starting a family.  Who knows how long it may have taken and how things may have turned out differently.
• Gossip - I do my best on this one.  Especially with new friends and social groups, I find it important to listen more than I speak, watch what I say, look forward more than backwards and above all give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Ulcerative Colitis

Two and a half years ago I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis.  It was a shock and I said at the time that I would write about it when I had gotten to grips with things and now seems like a good time.

It's not a pleasant topic but it's important to raise awareness of this illness.

After Isabella was born, I suffered with diarrhoea for weeks.  In the hospital they weren't concerned and my gynaecologist at my five week check up just told me to eat more bananas.  Because of their lack of concern, it took two months of rushing to the toilet all day and nagging from my husband before I finally went to see my GP.

Luckily, he took me seriously.  He immediately ran tests and set up various appointments.  We were in the middle of August by this point, which meant that many doctors were on holiday, but he went out of his way to make sure that I would be seen quickly by specialists.  I'm so grateful to that doctor and for the German health system.

After an endoscopy, a doctor at the hospital gave us the diagnosis.  I sat in his office with my husband by my side and two month old baby in the pram on the other side as he described this illness I'd never heard of before - ulcerative colitis.  An inflammatory bowel disease.

I'd suffered with my bowels for a while - it had been diagnosed as IBS while I was at university but medication had never helped.  We'd suspected a gluten allergy for a while and cutting it out helped.  It turns out, this is probably a related problem.

The doctor explained that there was no cure.  It is like Crohn's Disease but only affects the large intestine.  Basically, my large intestine becomes irritated at times causing pain, bleeding and diarrhoea.  There is treatment and I have to watch what I eat to a certain extent but otherwise, many people live normal lives with this disease.  I'd have to have regular check ups going forward but there was no reason to think I couldn't lead a normal life too.

The scariest part was the higher risk of colon cancer but the positive side of this is that, now we know that it's a risk and has to be checked regularly.

I remember driving up to stay with Nico's parents, from this appointment with Isabella in the back of the car, crying because we'd brought this baby into the world and both of us now had illnesses which gave her a higher risk of cancer if she inherited one of them, and worrying that we hadn't made a will if these illnesses took us early.

The doctor gave me a course of strong medication which cleared up the problem immediately.  It was such a huge relief.  Since then I have only had one outbreak which was treated with steroids.  The rest of the time, I've been on a weaker medication which (touch wood) is keeping things in check.  I have to have regular blood tests and hopefully will be able to come off this medication in a few years.

I also take algae and resin supplements daily and follow a gluten free diet and live a normal lifestyle.  Though I'm not very good at sticking with it, I do feel that following a Paleo diet helps too. We have even been able to have a second baby and despite my fears following his birth, symptoms have been kept at bay.

Since the diagnosis, I've read a lot about this illness and actually discovered that a few people I know suffer from it too.  It's just not something that is talked about.  Maybe if it were more well known, people would be diagnosed earlier.

If you're interested in finding out more you can read about it here.

Cat life

 Lately Pete has been in the wars. We don't know what happened but he had definitely been fighting. He got this nasty wound on his face which became infected and swollen.

It took the vet and three assistants to shave his face enough to inspect and clean the cuts. He had a few jabs and some pain killer drops.

After a few (hilarious) days of walking around like this, he was allowed back out again. All in all it was an expensive fight.

Today he was already fighting with the neighbour cat again...I'm glad we'll be on holiday and away from trouble soon.

Bills

A goodbye

Even though it's been spread over a month, this move seems to have progressed rather quickly which is good in a way because I tend to get over-emotional but I just wanted to take a moment to remember what our old flat meant to us in the style of Rachel Jeffcoat.

This is the living room where we've spent so many cosy evenings, enjoyed many game nights, received many guests. It's where our Christmas tree stood for the last three years, where we skyped with friends and family to share news big and small. From this room we saw birds and squirrels up close. This is the room I was sat in when labour started and the first room we brought our baby girl into.

In this kitchen we cooked so many meals together, tried lots of new recipes and learned to live gluten-free.

In this bathroom I discovered I was pregnant!

Here in this bedroom, we brought our 'practice baby' cat home and waited for him to come out of his cage and accept us. This is where he woke us up like Simon's cat many mornings. This is where Nico proposed, where I told him I was pregnant and where our sweet baby girl slept for her first weeks.

This is the office where we both brought work home.

This room started out as a guest room, and we had many people stay there, it became something of a storeroom for our ever shrinking kitchen, then a nursery for tomato plants before finally being the nursery for our little girl - the scene of night feeds and smiley mornings.

Finally, our balconies where plants grew, kebabs were barbecued, quiet time was enjoyed and storks were spotted overhead.

This is the first place we called 'ours', home to our family of two, then three, then four. It's a home I'll never forget but now it's on to new experiences and hopefully lots more wonderful memories like these.

Thanksgiving

While Thanksgiving is an American holiday and I'm not American or living in America, it is one of the holidays I almost wish we did celebrate as it's always good to be grateful. So today I'm thinking of all the things I am grateful for this year.

• Our beautiful baby girl and her safe arrival in the world.
• An amazing, patient husband.
• Wonderful family and friends.
• My job and fantastic colleagues.
• Good health.
• My gran making it to her 91st birthday this week.
• Our cat, Pete.
• So much time for crafting fun.
• Sunshine and trips we've made.
• Our car.

There are probably lots more things I can't think of right now but I am very grateful that we got through this very eventful year healthy and happy.

30 things - write a will

When I put this on my list, I thought it would be much more straightforward. It turns out that the most important thing here is to have a kind of power of attorney 'just in case'. Even if you are married, courts can appoint someone other than your spouse unless you have written down your wishes. Anyway, I have done that now and made my wishes clear. 

What I didn't expect is how often this has to be updated. Every time we move, every time my next of kins move, every time we have a child and every time there's something new to leave. I've made blank copies ready for the changes too.

I feel a little more settled and secure now anyway. Glad to have this one crossed off.

Inspiration

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Currently...

...reading Wolf Hall.
...relaxing at home with my boys after an outbreak of scarlet fever at work.
...watching those basil seeds carefully for changes.
...drinking lots of hot lemon to fight off a cold.
...walking around Huchting to make the most of the glorious weather.
...starting new projects.
...writing good old fashioned penpal letters.
...sitting on the balcony more.
...cuddling with Pete.
...enjoying the look on his face when the bump wants to play.
...congratulating friends on the many babies born in the last weeks.
... feeling blessed and inspired as Spring makes its first appearance.

Reminiscing...

I recently started reading a new blog written by an old school friend.  She recently moved abroad and set up the blog to review her new experiences - ringing any bells yet?

Reading her first post took me right back to those first weeks in Bremen.  I can't believe how much has changed since then.  My life looked very different back then.  I originally only came over for a two year stint but I fell in love...with a man, with a job and with a way of life.  

What hit me more than these big changes however, was how much I take for granted now.  I was almost a little bit sorry to have left the times behind when every little thing was new - remembering to stock up at the supermarket on a Saturday because it doesn't open on Sunday, getting refunded for recycling bottles, paying for coffees when you leave a cafe rather than when you order, the whole school system...and probably a thousand other things that I don't even remember.  It almost made me want to move again.

Everybody should try life in a different country at some point.  Even if it is only for a few months, it can open your eyes so much and completely change your life.  I'll definitely be reading Jessica's blog in the future, reliving those early weeks and wishing her all the best in her new venture.

Our Wedding

Leaving the hotel with Dad and Gran

 When I restarted the blog, I promised an update on our wedding and here it is...

The week leading up to the wedding was pretty hectic with family and friends arriving from everywhere almost every day leading up to the big day!  We had gotten all the family together earlier in the week for the Kranzenbinden (the garland binding) which is a German wedding tradition.

The morning of our wedding was just as stressful to me thanks to our hairdresser who was late and took three hours, leaving us running really late.  It was a mad dash back to the hotel to change and get to the town hall on time...or five minutes late.

Dad walking me to the ceremony

In Germany, it is compulsory to marry at the town hall, though not always on the same day as the church ceremony.  For us, it made sense to do it all together though as we had so many guests flying in to be there.

The civil ceremony

The room at the town hall was very small so we were surrounded by our very nearest and dearest as we said 'I do'.  The ceremony was all in German and very official but very moving too.  I then signed my new name for the very first time.

Afterwards we cracked open the bubbly for a quick toast and calm down from the rush of the morning.

The newlyweds!

Outside, Nico's family had arranged a lovely surprise as we all let off balloons to mark the occasion.  It was very special.  There were lots of photos and good wishes at the town hall before we headed off to the church.

Leaving the town hall

It was a little strange and certainly different to walk through the town as newly weds, followed by our congregation on the way to the church where more guests were waiting.  It was a nice chance to have a little chat with my new husband though and catch up on our mornings.

The church ceremony was beautiful.  We were so glad that we picked the smaller church building as it was the perfect size and the light was perfect.  Our best friends read for us in the church and we were lucky to have the priest who confirmed Nico, and who he is lucky enough to call a friend, perform the ceremony. 

Cutting the heart out

Our second pleasant surprise of the day was a big sheet with a spray painted heart on there which we had to cut out together with nail scissors.  Whoever finished their half first is supposed to 'be in charge' in the marriage.  Nico won...

My new family

 Then came the official photos...

Nico's new family

With our attendants

With our friends

Everyone!

 We also took the time to have some photos around the lake.  Most of Nico's family also married in this church and had their photos taken here so it was nice to carry on the tradition and we were really pleased with the results.

The happy couple

Later, we headed to our venue for the reception and celebrated well into the evening.  The food was delicious and the company was very good.  We danced and talked the night away.  There were also a few more surprises in store.

Nico's cufflinks

 Nico's Mum's family prepared a beautiful poem from which they each read a verse and presented us with a rose.  At the end they gave us a beautiful rose plant which is now on the balcony.  The poem and the sentiments that went with it were truly beautiful.

At the lake

 Nico's Dad's family prepared a sketch to represent the night we first met which was really funny and memorable.  We were lucky enough to have some videos of the day too -precious memories.

One of my favourite memories of the night is my Gran.  One of the most inspirational women I know is almost 90 years old and we had worried about how well she would cope with the travel and the excitement of the whole week.  True to form, she proved us all wrong, had a fantastic week and was dancing with the rest of us until almost midnight.  Yet more special memories.

...and they lived happily ever after?

We had such a perfect day with almost all the most important people in our lives.  The whole week was magical and the weekend that followed was nice, sunny and sociable too.  It involved the pool, lots of sunbathing and eating leftovers before we put all our guests on a plane and jetted off for our perfect honeymoon too.

Perfectionism

Video overload at the moment but I saw this via YesandYes yesterday and spent the whole 78 seconds saying 'oh yeah!' out loud!!  Watch out Nico - this may become my new library system and who knows how we will find things then!!

Inspiration

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Inspiration

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April Goals Review

April has been a crazy month and I have to admit, the goals really went on the back burner.

• I didn't get my 10% and I haven't been at Weightwatchers this month but I did lose 5lbs and feel like I'm getting back on track.
• I listed some things for sale on Amazon but they haven't sold yet.  When I get more of my things together, I will list more items too.
• We are visiting a florist in May when we are in Schneverdingen to get some ideas and place an order.  We have a hairdresser lined up, I just have to pick a style and book it!  We have started looking at suits, sorted some more guests with accommodation and booked the dress fitting!
• We had a few social events this month with friends - my birthday barbecue, ladies' lunches and planned some for next month.

Also, I started Project Life and completed my cushion projects this month.

Overall I am happy but I am planning to stay more focused next month.

My Story - Dave Pelzer

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After finishing Anna Karenina, I wanted a break from the classics and my brain wasn't ready to go back to German so I picked up this autobiography that I got for Christmas.

This book first came to my attention when I worked at WHSmiths and it was a big hit on the lists but I didn't really know much about it until I did my teacher training and a few of the other trainees had read it.  

It tells the true story of Dave Pelzer who grew up in the USA in the seventies with an abusive mother.  Throughout teacher training, I heard stories of abused children and it's something that seems to come up on the news every so often and quickly get forgotten about again.  I've never read such an account as this though.  

It wasn't an easy book to read - especially the first part which focuses on his childhood - the worst time, but it was an interesting book and it has a strong message of overcoming such a background, which was important.  I'm glad the book had a happy ending, even though many similar stories haven't.

It's not a genre I want to get too into but I'm glad I read this one.

Inspiration

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Inspiration

Inspiration

Here's the sign we picked up in the hippy shop in Haworth - I love it!

28 things - Get a permanent contract!

 It has been eighteen months since I first asked the headmaster of my school for an extension of my placement there.  It has taken blood, sweat and tears to get this far but finally, on Monday, I signed my permanent contract to stay on at my school teaching English and Spanish.

If there is one thing I have learned about Germany since I have been here it's that it's not as efficient as it would have you believe.  There is so much red tape - especially, apparently, in the education department.  I realised also, how far I had come this week when I thought back to that very first week in Bremen, running around between offices, trying to organise health insurance, a new doctor, a new flat and a million pieces of paperwork, all the time struggling with the language and just signing everything they put in front of me.  This time around I dealt with it all much better - read through the contract and asked relevant questions.  It felt right, which made me even more certain that I'm doing the right thing.  I feel more settled and happier than ever...then again, speak to me at the end of the first week back - I hope I still feel this good!

Our celebration dinner of fish and wedges with champagne