Parents' Meetings

Yet another benefit of Isabella being at nursery is the opportunity to meet new people and socialise more.

Both Nico and I moved to Bremen (and now Weyhe) for work, leaving most of our contacts behind and workplaces here in Germany, while friendly, aren't as social as in England.

Aside from getting to know our neighbours better tomorrow, mixing with parents has been one of our few opportunities to meet new people.

Last night I went for drinks with the parents from Isabella's nursery group. There were just four of us but for me that made it easier to follow. It was also a nice mix, two mums, two dads, a range of ages and backgrounds talking for three hours about all sorts.

It was nice because we see each other most days but never have a chance to talk. It's also nice to hear about the little ones who Isabella spends every day with.

It was also good and interesting to hear how the nursery has changed from some of the parents with older kids.

We met in the theater pub in Weyhe which was nice and quiet to be able to talk. We're planning our next drink there in April and hopefully the nicer weather will bring more people out.

Unwanted Advice

Tonight, after a long day at work we called into the DIY store on the way home. Isabella had been in the her car seat for over an hour and got pretty restless in the store. I got her out of the seat and realised that she was way too warm. As soon as I took her winter suit off and distracted her she was our happy little girl again. 

Of course it was quite an episode getting her back in the seat to go home so I made the decision to leave her big snow suit off as she was in warm pyjamas and the car was warm. She was much happier.

It was then all the more hurtful when a random stranger called over to us in the carpark to say she should be more wrapped up. Now I'm used to hearing all of the advice from grandmothers (our grandmothers, Isabella's grandmothers, and random strangers) but this woman was not much older than me. I almost cried on the spot. 

What makes people think they have the right to comment on how strangers bring up their own children? With few exceptions, I believe most parents do the best they can and while we all do what we think is right, most parenting decisions make little difference in the long term.

When I told my boss about the nutrition seminar last week her jaw dropped. She brought up two boys with no such support. 

The truth is that we all know what is best for our own children and I will be putting all my energy into my own baby and saving any advice for those who ask for it, or failing that, my grandchildren!

Like Mother Like Daughter

Yesterday, I had my first run in with a German parent.  It was my 'bad' class and a pupil who has been playing up a lot recently.  In fact, the last two lessons, I had to kick her out for repeatedly shouting 'penis' across the classroom despite repeated warnings. 

So, at the beginning of yesterday's lesson (well, I say beginning, they come to me from science so are always five minutes late anyway), the said pupil comes up to me while I am writing on the board (I was writing what is going to be on the test tomorrow in case your interested, they weren't) and asks if she and a friend can go to the toilet.  I said no, they couldn't go together.  At this point, she flipped out and started shouting about how unreasonable I was.  Eventually she went to sat down and quietened down.  

A few minutes later, there were already a few names on the board when I caught her talking over me again and wrote her name on the board.  At this point she flipped out completely and started screaming across the room, so I asked her to leave.  She refused so I had to send for her class teacher to come and remove her.  I don't know whether he sent her back in or she chose to come back in but she did, and proceeded to sprawl across the table and cry at full volume.  Eventually her friend, after telling me what a mean teacher I was for ignoring this behaviour (even though I had kicked her out at this point so she could technically go to the toilet), took her outside and called her mother. 

So the end of the lesson comes around and I am faced with said girl, her mother and the parents' representative for the class.  I let her give her side of the story first.  Unfortunately, they weren't so gracious in giving me the same respect.  When I explained her screaming fits, the mother was a little disappointed but when I explained that it's a school rule that pupils don't go to the toilet during lessons, and that while I am prepared to bend that rule if pupils are unwell, I still don't feel it requires letting two pupils out of lessons at the same time, she couldn't understand.  Apparently the school toilets have no locks or toilet paper, and while I have sympathy over this, it doesn't change the rules.  Because I admitted that I wouldn't relish the prospect of going to these toilets either, they felt that proved I was wrong, even though I never leave lessons to go to the toilet even when I'm ill, never mind asking a colleague to accompany me!

In the end, when the mother started shouting at me too, and I realised where the pupil gets it from in the first place, I told her she could make an appointment to see me with the class teacher or head present but I was going for my lunch.  She marched off to the class teacher who told her every teacher had the right to have their own rules in the classroom and sent her packing.  I was really shaken and upset at the time, but I think I'll handle my next run in when it does happen.